Homecoming Picture

Overjoyed, jet-lagged and... complete.

Home from Ethiopia

HOME

Norman and I returned home from Ethiopia with Mekelit on April 20th. We've been home two weeks now, and are busy getting Mekelit attached to us, acclimated to her new surroundings and "recalibrating" our family life. The last three weeks have been an incredible adventure. Ethiopia was fantastic and all that happened before, during and after our trip was amazing and even miraculous. Though I am finding myself short on time since our return, I wanted to write (finally!) to let everyone know that we did indeed get our Mekelit and are home safe, sound and together, at last.

MEETING

Mekelit came to us in the arms of her favorite nanny. She was a miniature version of the little girl I had envisioned her to be-- tiny limbs peeking out of billowing dress. She took one look at me as her nanny put her into my arms and started to cry. I hadn't thought about what I would say or do when I at last held her, but as she started to cry, I put my lips to her ear and began speaking to her very softly and quietly. As I spoke I carried her into a private room away from the other families uniting with their children. After a minute or so, Meka stopped crying and sat still, listening to me. After another minute or so, she turned and looked at me. And from that moment on, I was her mama.

Typically orphans will bond with one parent first, then after they've established trust with that parent, they are able to bond with the other parent and members of the family. Meka bonded to me first, which we expected, since she has never had a father. Norm was amazing both in Ethiopia and since our return, doing much of all the other work so I could take care of Mekelit. One of Norm's gift's is that he takes nothing personally, so he has remained good-natured and ever-so patient with Meka while she learns to have and to trust a daddy.

Mekelit took to Peter and Samuel very quickly and the boys have been wonderful with her. They adore her already and are such great big brothers! What a joy they are to watch. Peter said to me the other day that it is like she has always been a part of our family. I nodded and told him that our family feels complete now, doesn't it? Yes, he said. Yes.

LITTLE MISS PERSONALITY

What our little Ethiopian princess lacks in size, she makes up for in personality. Mekelit is very spirited and knows precisely what she does and does not like or want (look out for The Formidable Knitted Brow). She can be shy around new people but smiles and laughs often and easily. She was very nurturing to the younger children at her orphanage-- hovering over them like a minuscule mother hen. She loves eating, shoes and clothes (in that order), and can put away Injera-- Ethiopian bread-- like nobodies business. Most of all, she is incredibly brave and strong. I look at her and am amazed that she has gone through what she has and emerged with such stength of spirit intact. Norm and I had chosen a middle name for Mekelit, "Elefe," which we had read meant, "she who is great and surpasses everything" in Amharic. While we were in Ethiopia we learned that it doesn't literally mean that in Amharic, which, alas, made us lose interest in the name, but I can't help but think that the definition still fits her. She's really quite extraordinary.

GIVING THANKS

If I may end this blog on a financial note: When we began this adoption journey, we did so in faith, with only about a thousand dollars in an adoption fund and the belief that if God had really called us to adopt, if He really meant it when He said to care for the widows and the orphans, then the money to do so would somehow follow suit (of course that included some sweat equity on our part as well. I'm not suggesting waiting for cash to drop from the sky-- though that would have been nice!). Well I'm here to tell you that during the worst of economic times-- and we've been hit like everyone else-- the money did, in the end, come through. It was always at the 11th hour and not at all like I thought it would come, but it came through nonetheless. As of this week, our adoption is paid in full. This is a miracle in the truest sense of the word. I wish I could say I was full of faith about it throughout, but I was not. There were many, many days of barely hanging on to faith (D, your encouragement to me in those dark hours always saved the day). But in the end, God came through-- for us and for Mekelit and we are very, very thankful to Him.

Finally, to our dear family and dear friends who shared this journey with such love, generosity, prayer and a truly touching enthusiasm: Norman and I have felt your love for us and for Mekelit all along the way. You really did help carry us through.

Amesege'nallo' ('thank you' in Amharic).

Court approved!

Today, after a 3-day vigil, we received word that we are court approved! The power had indeed gone out in Addis, but after our hearing (thank you God) and was out for two days. The wait felt like a very, very long labor (albeit without those pesky labor pains).

But after the labor comes the joy! So, without further adieu, let me introduce you all to our daughter, Mekelit Keziah Elefe Dannug.

Mekelit - Amharic, "gift to God" (this is M.'s birth name)
Keziah - Hebrew, "sweet-scented" (I had spelled it without the "h," but Norm wanted to go with the biblical spelling, since her namesake's is spelled that way)
Elefe - Amharic, "she who is great and surpasses everything" (an Ethiopian name we chose for Mekelit)

This is Mekelit's referral picture, taken shortly after her arrival at the orphanage last October and the only picture we have of her. Her hair was shaved for ease of care and she is currently so small that she doesn't even show up on the Pediatric developmental chart, but that will change once we get her home. Until then, we are just very grateful that she is being clothed and fed and cared for by her caregivers at the orphanage.

Our visa appt. in Addis Ababa is scheduled for April 16th, which means we leave for Ethiopia on April 11th and will return on April 21st. This is a week later than the date we were originally given, which had us going over Easter, something that was very meaningful to me. I was bummed to miss Easter in Addis, until I remembered that Ethiopia is Christian Orthodox, which means they celebrate their Easter on a different date. That date is April 19th, so we wiil not miss Easter in Ethiopia after all!

Now we have two and a half weeks to do a mountain of paperwork and preparation. I'll try to write with any updates when I can.

Thank you so much to all who prayed for our court date and sent so much encouragement and additional prayer during our "vigil." And for everyone's love and care for us during this adoption journey-- it has been a sustenance we have drawn upon all along the way. You continue to bless... xo

Court Date

We received our court date! It's scheduled for March 23rd. Our social worker said that would put our visa appt. around April 9th, at this point, which means we would leave for Ethiopia around April 5th. We will not get a confirmed visa appointment, however, until our court date goes through, so the date could change. Travel arrangements, etc. cannot be made until after the court date, so we'll have a very busy couple of weeks after March 23rd! Until then, we've started making the preparations we can. The busy-ness, I'm finding, is a helpful distraction from the waiting.

After we got our referral, we were able to send a couple of small gifts to Kezia. We sent a photo album with pictures of Norman, Peter, Sam, India (our dog) and I and a small teddy bear. We were told that the nanny's at the orphanage would show Kezia the pictures of us on a regular basis. I wonder if it will make a difference; if we will be a little less strange to her. I hope so.

When we received our referral, we were sent a picture of Kezia, any known history and of course, her birth name (which we are not allowed to reveal online until our court date). Since our daughter will be two and a half when we get her, Norman and I have decided to keep her birth name and use Kezia as her middle name. We believe keeping her given name is what's best and we are delighted that she was given a beautiful, meaningful Ethiopian name by her birth mother. That is the name we feel she should keep as her rightful first name. However, until we are able to disclose the name and for the sake of this blog, I'll keep referring to her as Kezia.


DID YOU KNOW...

The official language in Ethiopia is Amharic.

The Most Wonderful Christmas Gift

Yesterday, we received the call we have been waiting 8 months for: we got our referral!! Our agency called us Wednesday afternoon and told us that they had matched us with a two-year-old girl! She's healthy and beautiful, though only a mere 19 lbs.

We are delighted beyond words. We had hoped (and prayed) the referral would come before Christmas, but our adoption agency closes for the holidays after this Friday, so by Wednesday morning we had resigned ourselves to getting the referral in 2009. Then we got the call! What a happy, happy day.

(Ethiopian child protection laws do not allow us to post her photo/identifying information online until she is legally ours. But as soon as she is, we'll post pictures.)

Children's Hope FedEx'd us the hard copy of Kezia's info. and papers we need to sign and return in the next 4 days. The next step is getting a court date. The court appt. is what makes Kezia legally ours. We will travel to Ethiopia about 3-4 weeks after this occurs. That should happen sometime in the next 3 months. Until then, there is much to do to prepare.

Please pray for Kezia... protection and love, love, love to cover her. Also, grace for the court date to happen without any glitches. Sometimes they get rescheduled at the last minute. We'll keep you posted.

Have a most blessed Christmas!

"What's adopting?"

(NOTE: For the update on our adoption proceedings, scroll down to the 7/31 post, "Catching Up.")

Following is a conversation my six-year-old son, Sam, had with his friend Aiden on a recent play-date.

I had been asking Aiden about his brothers and sisters and then Sammy said:

Sam: We are adopting a baby from... from...
Me: Ethiopia.
Sam: Yeah, Ethiopia.
Me: That's in Africa.
Aiden: What's 'adopting'?
Sam: It's when you get a baby, but the mom stays regular and then you fill out all of these papers and then you get a baby.
Aidan: (After a thoughtful pause) Make sure you take a pen with you that doesn't run out of ink.
Sam: Yeah.
Me: (Trying hard to compose myself) Thank you, Aiden. That's very good advice.

Treasure

I was thinking today, as I often do, of something my friend Dana said in an email once. Norman and I had asked her to write a reference letter for us for our home study, and she was relaying to me the many hoops she had had to jump through just to get her letter notarized (oh, how I empathized). After thanking her profusely for her willingness to go through such trouble on our behalf, she said no problem, she understood about institutions and red tape and, in fact, believed there was probably a reason for such hassles. She went on to say that, "if any of these little inconveniences is enough to deter someone, then they shouldn't be trying to get no African treasure..."

African treasure... yes... that's what Kezia is to us (though an Ethiopian would kindly correct and say "Ethiopian treasure") and she is what I hold out in front of me every time I face another one of those "little inconveniences" (and some not-so-little ones). Kezia is what I think about when I get angry or irritated about the incessant red tape... the snail-like pace of things... the daily revisions to our ever-tender hope and expectations. Kezia is, after all, the Treasure we are working towards. She is the reason I can learn to live with and surrender such things. She is the reason I get up every morning and face another day hoping; the reason I can learn again to open my heart to another child; to stand with it wide-open and waiting for her to come and fill it in the way that only she can. The vulnerability of this terrifies me at times, but I don't care. She is worth it.

There is a freedom in that place, and a revelation: Only love can do that. I have not the courage for any of it apart from that-- of that I am most clear. But love can do it. Poured through and out of me, not of my own doing but His. Grace given if I let it. And every day that I can, I do.

(Thank you, Dana)

"Adoption is not a humanitarian act. It is a gift."

- Angelina Jolie